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Fire Safety is Important, You Know

Tonight when Zee was saying his prayers, he said, "Please bless our Advent, so that nobody will touch the candle and get burned, or have our house burn down."

Glad to see he's really catching the vision of the Christmas season that Advent provides.

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Advent Day 16: An angel appeared to shepherds, who were taking care of their sheep in the fields near Bethlehem. Luke 2:8-9 "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid."

Waiting by the Earthstone

My picture of Em and Zee at the Salt Lake Temple was featured this weekend at Times and Seasons' "A Mormon Image" series. I love this picture because it shows their (very different) personalities quite clearly.

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Advent Day 15: There in that stable, Baby Jesus was born. His mother Mary wrapped him in swaddling clothes, which were to keep the baby warm and cozy. Luke 2:6-7 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Shopping on Sunday

In the April 1996 conference, Elder Earl C. Tingey said:

In a recent regional training meeting for priesthood leaders, President Gordon B. Hinckley expressed concern that members of the Church may have a tendency to take on the ways of the world. He said: “We don’t adopt them immediately, but we slowly take them on, unfortunately. I wish I had the power to convert this whole Church to the observance of the Sabbath. I know our people would be more richly blessed of the Lord if they would walk in faithfulness in the observance of the Sabbath.”

A very important aspect of properly observing the Sabbath concerns shopping on Sunday. Unfortunately, many commercial businesses and establishments are open on Sunday. The world sees no conflict in Sunday shopping. But we of the Church have been counseled and taught by prophets to keep ourselves “unspotted from the world.” We should not shop on Sunday.

President Hinckley continued with the following instruction to priesthood leaders: “There isn’t anybody in this Church who has to buy furniture on Sunday. There really isn’t. There isn’t anybody in this Church who has to buy a new automobile on Sunday, is there? No. There isn’t anybody in this Church who, with a little care and planning, has to buy groceries on Sunday. No. … You don’t need ice cream to be bought on Sunday. … You don’t need to make Sunday a day of merchandising. … I don’t think we need to patronize the ordinary business merchants on the Sabbath day. Why do they stay open? To get customers. Who are those customers? Well, they are not all nonmembers of this Church. You know that and I know that.”

I don't generally think of myself as having a problem with this commandment. In my adult life, I think I have entered a store on a Sunday less than ten times, and almost all of those while traveling. Recently, Bradley and I have tried not to travel on Sundays, and so Sabbath day shopping is even rarer.

(The most recent time I can remember shopping on a Sunday was almost three years ago. It was Christmas Eve, and Bradley went to the only open store we could find--a Walgreens in the next town--to get some special medical supplies for the newborn baby Gee. This, I think we can all agree, was a special circumstance. We brought Gee home from the hospital the day before, and we didn't know we would need more of the special plastic shields with which we protected his back incision. So the ox was really in the mire, and it wasn't just because we pushed him there.)

But there is a form of Sunday shopping I regularly participate in: online shopping. We are Amazon Prime members, which means we get free two-day shipping on all our Amazon.com purchases. It has become second nature to go online and order some more lightbulbs, or goldfish crackers, or new tights for Em because her old ones are too small. I don't even think of this as shopping, because hey! It's an automated system--the computer is taking my credit card info, the computer is printing out an invoice...the Amazon.com people will come in Monday and take care of my orders, and it will be here on Tuesday or Wednesday.

At least, I never thought of it as Sunday shopping until a recent conversation with my sister-in-law Laurene.

Bradley's brother Skip works for Amazon. He, among other things, adjusts prices and keeps on top of demand. Over Thanksgiving, Laurene was telling me that this means Skip is often online, fixing things and solving problems and worrying about his products. That's part of his job, and it's a marvelous job and they are thrilled to work there. But it set me thinking.

E-commerce sites use statistics a lot, and I'm sure they are aware of how many people shop at any given time. I'm sure Amazon.com knows the number of customers who shop on Sundays. Because they are a website, they have to have people working on it all the time, including Sundays. So if they know that people are going to be price-comparing and shopping on Sundays, they are going to have employees working on Sundays, not just on keeping the website going, but on changing prices and adding new stuff and coordinating sales and things like that. It's profitable for them to be working Sundays.

This is just a long-winded way of saying that I just realized I have been contributing to that mind-set. I will order things online on Sunday, and this makes a profit for them. It's not that different than walking into a store and purchasing a gallon of milk.

When I realized this, I immediately started making excuses for myself. Excuse one: When I order things on Saturday, sometimes that could make people work on Sunday trying to get things ready for me. Or maybe it's already Monday in their time zone (not something you have to worry about with a brick-and-mortar-store), so I'm not breaking the Sabbath after all!

Except that excuse made me think of the spirit of the law, and the Pharisees, and their "how many steps can you take on a Sabbath", and I decided that nuance and sophistry weren't the way I was going to solve this problem.

Excuse two: Given the worldwide audience for Amazon.com, and other e-commerce sites, would the fact that I stopped shopping on Sunday make a difference to their practices? In other words, their employees are not going to stop working on Sundays just because I, Keryn Ross, stopped ordering things on Sunday.

Except that excuse doesn't even make sense outside of the Wasatch Front. There are very few places outside of Utah that have such a concentration of LDS members that a "boycott" of Sunday shopping is going to convince shop owners to close on the Sabbath. All the stores around me while growing up in Las Vegas were open on Sundays, and yet we never shopped on the Sabbath.

So I have (reluctantly) decided: no more Sunday online shopping for me. It just doesn't feel right now that I have thought it out. (And, to be sure, this is just for me. I'm not going to look down on you for choosing a different way to interpret this commandment for yourself. Sort of like paying tithing on your gross or your net income. That's for you to decide. So is this one, I think.)

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Advent Day 14: When Mary and Joseph finally got to Bethlehem, it was so crowded that there was no place for them to stay. All the inns were full. So they had to sleep in a stable, where animals live. Luke 2:7 "...there was no room for them in the inn."

Bathtime

After his bath tonight, Zee was a bit chilly, and disinclined to put his underwear and pajamas on. So, quite logically (or not), he dipped his entire towel into the still warm bath, and then stood in the hallway with a soaking wet towel wrapped around him. Dripping.

I just stared at him. What to tell him to do? Put the towel back in the bathtub? No, still full with Em in it. Put the towel in the washing machine? No, it's running. Standing in the hallway is just getting the carpet wet, so..."Zee, put the towel on the bathroom floor. No, completely on the tile floor. Thank you."

I think I need a vacation.

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Advent Day 12: Right before Baby Jesus was born, the emperor of all the land wanted to know how many people lived in Israel. So he made everyone go back to the land where their family was from. Luke 2: 1, 3 "And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed...And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city."

Advent Day 13: Joseph and Mary had to go down to Bethlehem. Luke 2:4-5 " And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child."

Crushed again

Today, when I picked Zee up from school, he showed me two tickets to the Utah Flash game tomorrow night. Everyone at the school got them. Zee was so excited. "I can take Daddy, Momma!"

"Oh, Zee, I'm sorry. Tomorrow night Momma and Daddy have a work party to attend. You'll get to play at Aunt Telima's house, though!"

"No, Momma! We have to go! I have tickets!"

Yikes. It's not fun to "crush" your child's dreams (even if the dream is only ten minutes old). But I convinced him we couldn't cancel the party, we couldn't postpone the party, and that maybe taking Daddy to lunch with his free pizza coupon (that he got for reading last month) would be an acceptable substitute.

In other news today, Hebs likes to scoot. He sits up, tucks one leg behind him in a crawling-position, keeps the other leg crooked in front of him, scissors-style, and scoots forward. It's completely inefficient and terribly uncomfortable-looking. And yet it's what he does. He's a weird, adorable, sweet, smiley baby.

And we celebrated my nephew Jayson's birthday today. Happy 2nd, Jayson!

Tomorrow is spina bifida clinic up in SLC. An early morning followed by a long day.

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Advent Day 11: Mary was supposed to marry Joseph, but after he found out she was having a baby, he wasn't sure they should get married. But an angel came to Joseph and told him that he should marry Mary, and that the baby was going to be the Son of God. Matthew 1:18-21 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Just where is she taking showers?

MSNBC reports about a "growing trend" in an article titled More Women Chose Do-It-Yourself Births: (emphasis added)

Jennifer Margulis thinks birth should be a private party — no doctors or midwives invited. So when her daughter Leone Francesca was born at home last month, only Margulis and her husband, James, were in attendance.

“My husband and I were the only ones there when she was conceived,” says the 40-year-old writer from Ashland, Ore. “I thought we should be the only ones there when she was born.”

(snip)

Margulis’ first baby was born in a hospital and the next two were at home with a midwife. Margulis wasn’t happy with either experience and decided she wanted more control over the process.

After researching the do-it-yourself option, she felt assured the birth process is “safer than taking a shower.”

Perhaps she showers in the Amazon rain forest, with piranhas. Because I do not believe the risk of unattended childbearing is a small as that of taking a shower. The risk of a woman between the ages of 20 and 54 dying in an accidental fall (presumably including in the shower) is 1 in 167,000.

For example, the risk of a mother in the United States of dying in childbirth is 13 in 100,000 live births. This is all women, in hospitals or at home. While it is a very small risk, it is still bigger than the risk of showering. (Especially compared to, say, Sierra Leone, where 1 in 8 women will die of childbirth complications.)

Margulis is getting her information from "a recent Canadian study that found giving birth at home with a midwife was about as safe for babies and moms as in a hospital, with the rate of newborn deaths about two per 1,000 for planned home births." (Now we're talking about newborn deaths, but the risk of these is still higher than fatal showers.)

An obstetrician interviewed in the story puts the correct spin on the study:

However, the women in the studies were very healthy, had no risk factors, and had small-sized babies, says Dr. Harish M. Sehdev, an assistant professor of clinical obstetrics and gynecology and director of labor and delivery at Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia. Hospitals generally have much higher C-section rates because they treat a variety of new moms, including those who are overweight, have big babies and have lots of risk factors like diabetes and high blood pressure.

In addition, one in 20 women who had chosen to give birth at home ended up delivering in the hospital. “And those were the low-risk women,” Sehdev adds.

Ms. Margulis is certainly allowed to give birth in any way she wishes. And she's allowed to advocate for a highly dangerous activity just like someone who BASE jumps is allowed to advocate for his favored activity.

But I'm also allowed to mock them both if I so choose. And to point out factual errors in her story and the risks involved.

I choose to give birth in a hospital with a doctor or midwife. I understand some women wish to give birth in birthing centers or at home with midwives. (I don't think at home is as safe, but I also don't think it is unconscionably dangerous.) But advocating as just as safe having an unattended birth at home, away from trained professionals and their ability to assess problems, is incredibly irresponsible.

That may be harsh, but that's the way I feel.

(And we won't even mention the lady who chooses "not to have prenatal care from a medical professional. That meant no internal exams and no ultrasounds to check for twins and fetal development. “I would know if I was carrying twins,” Schoenborn says. “I know my body.”" Oooooh, so because you would know if you were having twins, you would also know if your child had spina bifida. Or something else. I see! Maybe you should teach me to get in touch with my body.)

(Ooops. I guess I mentioned her after all.)

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Advent Day 10: Mary was a young woman living in Israel. An angel came to her and told her she was going to be the mother of Jesus. Luke 1:26-32 "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,

27 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.

28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.

29 And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.

30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.

31 And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.

32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David."