ATTN WORLD: MONDAY IS 40,000 DAY

You can have your Y2Ks, your 08/08/08s, and your 2012s--I've just discovered that Monday, July 6, 2009 is 40,000 Day!

What is 40,000 day, you ask? Well, it's simply the most exciting thing ever to hit MS Excel. You see, in order to correctly calculate dates, MS Excel simply converts them to a number--the number of days since January 1st, 1900, to be exact. So my anniversary, October 19, 2001, translate in Excel-speak to 37183 (days since 01-01-1900).

Thirty-seven thousand, one hundred eighty-three isn't a very catchy number, but 40,000--ah, now that's a number you can sink your teeth into! (Figuratively speaking, of course.) And it just so happens that just six days from now, this very Monday, is that very day: 40,000 day. A beautiful, dare I say even exquisite, figure of a numeral.

And rare, too. Ten thousand days is approximately 27.3 years--the last time such a nicely rounded number occurred was February 18, 1982 (pre-MS Excel, which launched in 1985). The next one won't be until Friday, November 21, 2036. And we probably won't be using MS Excel anymore, because we will be able to do complex calculations and spreadsheets using the cyborg implant in our brain. So this is quite possibly the ONLY time we will see a perfect ten-thousand number EVER.

I'm already planning my celebration. I'll tell you ALL about it on Monday--if I can handle the excitement!

Ode to the Dustbuster

Happy 30th birthday, Dustbuster!

We never had a Dustbuster in our home while we were growing up, and that practically makes me weep for my poor mother. Six children and no Dustbuster! Life was harder in the olden days, I think we can all agree.

I got my first Dustbuster several years ago on Mother's Day or my birthday. (Some say you should never give appliances for birthday or anniversary gifts. I don't believe in that rubbish. Bring 'em, I say!) Of all my household appliances, I think I love my Dustbuster the most. (Well, besides the window a/c, the microwave, and, oh, I can't forget my refrigerator door water dispenser. I really love them too.)

That little machine is so convenient for just about everything--from the nasty spider lurking in the corner to the spilled Cheerios under the high chair. I've used it instead of sweeping, I've used it in the car (great idea: make a car-mountable Dustbuster that recharges when the car is on), I've used it to clear off the table of crumbs (I washed the table right after, I promise).

The true glory of the Dustbuster, however, is illustrated in this quote from Popular Mechanics:

I can remember afternoons spent "playing" with the Dustbuster on our carpeted stairs, having a fine time with my first power tool while my parents gently encouraged me to explore how it worked on all the stairs, in sequence, without overlooking the corners.

I'm here to tell you that this totally works. My children sometimes fight over who gets to vacuum up the spilled Rice Krispies or Goldfish crackers. Gee, as I've already mentioned, adores all vacuums and will happily spend five minutes (or however long the battery lasts) vacuuming the same patch of carpet.

Children, doing chores. Even begging to do chores. It's a miracle, and it's all because of Dustbuster.

Thanks!

(Disclaimer: Black & Decker didn't ask me to write this post. Black & Decker doesn't know I exist, except that Bradley's good friend from high school once worked for Black & Decker. Except she worked in the power tools department. Anyway, I didn't get anything for writing this post. You should go buy a Dustbuster anyway, though, and then write to Black & Decker and tell them you bought it because of me. Maybe then I could become their spokesmodel!)

Making Friends

Zee went to a birthday party on Saturday. Although he only knew a few of the kids there, my boy is a pretty sociable kid, and after a little warm-up time spent next to Momma, he was off and playing. There was a little boy there, though, who didn't know anyone except the birthday boy, and he was very shy and uncomfortable. After watching this little boy wander around the fence of the yard for a while, I suggested quietly to Zee that maybe that little boy needed a friend for a minute or two until he felt a little happier. Zee thought this over for a minute, asked me if the boy was shy, and agreed that maybe he needed somebody to talk to. He then hopped up and strolled over to the fence.

I don't know what they talked about, those two five-year-olds on the edge of the lawn, but as I watched, the shy boy started to smile a little, and talk a bit. Eventually the two of them made their way to the kiddie pool and the rest of the party, and it seemed like they had a pretty good time.

It was kinda fun to watch Zee try to help a little boy he didn't know. He won't remember this, but hopefully it's just another part of teaching my little heathens how to be compassionate people.

Middle Children

Making funny faces...

Being really cute.

It makes sense

During a conversation about swimming lessons:

Zee: But what if all the oceans were gone? And there was only land? Then I wouldn't need swimming lessons.
Momma: Where would we get water, then, if all the oceans were gone?
Zee: We'd squeeze it out of watermelons!
Momma: (sputtering with laughter)
Zee: I'm not telling a joke, Mom! We would get it out of watermelons!

*******
Speaking of swimming lessons, today they let the Mommy & Me class go down the water slide. When they let us do this last week, Gee went down on my lap once, said he had fun, and then steadfastly refused to go down again. I certainly wasn't going to force him, so it was no big deal. Today, when I asked, he said "No" then "Yes". So we climbed the stairs to the top of the slide, and once we got up there he changed his mind. "No no no slide."

Okay. So we started to walk back down the stairs. Halfway down, he started crying about how he wanted the slide. Okay, let's try again. This time, as I started to step into the water at the top of the slide, he freaked out, "Nonononononono". So I got back out and we stood back to let others go. I asked again and he said, "No slide." We started back down the stairs and he started crying again. Sigh. This time I told him no, told him to settle down, and, once he did, we played in the shallow end for the rest of the lesson time.

Only now does it occur to me that he might have want to stay up at the top and watch everyone else go down. That's why he was so angry when I went down the stairs. Who knows, though. That boy has a mind of his own.

*******
Em is so funny in the pool. She refuses to put her face in the water, no matter what her teacher does. So when the teacher throws the little rings into the water and Em's class goes after them, there is Em, mincing daintily in the back. She leans over as far as she can, reaching blindly with the water up to her chin, to retrieve her ring. And then she prances back to her teacher. That girl is SO cute with her body.

*******
Zee has a fever. Or maybe he just got a little too much sun, but he's complaining about his stomach hurting. Oh, dear.

Speechless (well, not quite)

Governor Mark Sanford (R, S.C.) has admitted to an extramarital affair. And he disappeared--with apparently no one knowing where he was, and with no way to contact him, either by his family (he has four young boys with his wife) or by his staff--for five or six days. Over Father's Day weekend. To visit his mistress. In Argentina.

Wow. Just wow.

I think he needs to resign as governor. (Not that it is really any of my business, never having ever set foot in South Carolina before.) Oh, sure, he has resigned as the chair of the Republican Governor's Association. It's a start, but not good enough. Governor Sanford allowed his tawdry situation come between him and his duty to the citizens of his state. He allegedly was totally incommunicado for five+ days! I'm pretty sure I would be steamed if President Obama did that. Or if my governor did it. When you become a chief executive, that kind of thing is a luxury you don't get.

Senator John Ensign (R, NV) admitted to an affair about a week ago. Senator Ensign resigned as chair of the Republican Policy Committee, but won't be resigning from his senate seat. I think he should resign, too. (If he doesn't, I hope that the voters will take care of that for him. I know my mother vows never to vote for him again, even if she agrees with his politics.) My feelings are slightly less strong about this situation, though. At least when fallout from the affair threatened his ability to do his job (reportedly blackmail), he stepped up and admitted to the affair. (Still, I think: Resign, sir!)

These two politicians are following in the footsteps of far too many. (John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich come to mind.) Why does it seem that the majority of politicians have extramarital affairs? Is it just because we hear about them more, because they are in the public eye? Or is it a result of the power they get in office? Or are men with the tendency to stray more likely to become politicians?

Whatever it is, it ISN'T all right. We shouldn't turn a blind eye to it, or excuse it because the "other" side does it, too. I want men and women of strong moral character to represent me in the government. If someone can be tempted to break his/her marriage vows, what's to stop him/her from accepting a little bribe here, a little pay-for-play there?

Throw the bums out.

For my own good, huh?

"Zee, for the last time, GO TO BED."

As he continues banging on the drawers in his room. "I'm doing this for your own good, Momma."

Bedtime is a never-ending source of amusement and frustration for me. I love to listen to my kids say their prayers (example: Em said in her prayer tonight, "Thank Thee for Mommy, Daddy, Zee, Gee, Hebs, and especially me."), I love reading bedtime stories to them (only on nights when they actually listen and get ready for bed when I ask. Yes, I'm a horrible mother for withholding bedtime stories), I love when they give me big hugs and kisses.

I really don't like that they pop up every two seconds, needing a drink or the bathroom or to ask me one question or tell me one more thing. Or when they tease their sibling roommate to the point of tears, or make so much noise that said sibling wakes up crying. Sometimes my kids don't actually go to sleep until 10pm, and bedtime is at eight.

Zee just popped out of bed AGAIN. Needing a toy from the hallway. ARGH.

On the other hand, I actually love the way they all pile into our bed in the morning. Usually it starts somewhere around 6am, when Zee or Em crawl into Daddy's side of the bed. (He is more accommodating than I.) Eventually, Gee crawls into our room, moaning for Momma. And let me tell you, as much as Bradley tries to let me sleep in sometimes, Gee won't take no for an answer. He needs his Momma and he needs her NOW. We snuggle and rest until the baby wakes up, needing Momma too.

I love that they all need Momma. Even if it is exhausting.

I just had Zee come sit on the bed with me. "I'm sorry I've been so snippy, Zee. Will you forgive me?"
"I forgive you, Momma."
"I really need you to go to bed and lay quietly when I ask you to, Zee."
"I just can't, Momma. I'm not like the other kids, it's just the way I was born."
"Good night, Zee."

My Preschoolers

Zee and Em started preschool at BYU today. Neither of them have ever been to any school of any kind, so it was a very very exciting day. For all of us. (Especially me!)

Part of the fun is riding the bus with Daddy. We only have one car, but the bus stop is just across the street, and the route takes you directly to campus. And so from 8:07 this morning until 10:45, I was blessedly FREE!

Okay, not really, because I had Gee and Hebs. Still, it's funny just how free I actually felt, with only two kids instead of four. It helped that it was quiet and there was no bickering, very little whining, and no constant chatter. (Gee talks, but he doesn't chatter. Zee's my chatterer.)

So what did I do with all my free time? Did I luxuriate in my bed, sleeping in? Did I take a hot, bubbly bath? Did I fritter my time away on a movie or show, or on the internet? Not exactly.

I cleaned the walls in the hallway. And then I cleaned the toy room. And it was very very good! No kids complaining about me putting away the toy they were "just going to play with". No kids demanding that I stop vacuuming because they can't hear Curious George. Just me and my little boys, peaceful as can be.

So, how weird is that? Mah bahbies, off to school (sort of), and nary a tear in Mommy's eye. In fact, I nearly danced a jig.

It probably means I'm a really bad mother. And I bet I'll continue to be a really bad mother for the full six weeks of preschool!

(PS: Em and Zee had a MARVELOUS time. Em even threw the obligatory temper tantrum when I went to pick her up.)

Father's Day

Today, in the car driving home from stake conference, Em pipes up from her seat in the back: "Happy Father's Day, Daddy!" After Bradley thanked her, she leaned over to Zee and, in a loud four-year-old whisper, says, "Say Happy Father's Day, Zee!" Which he promptly did.

It's funny how much that touched me, that she wanted Daddy to hear it from her brother, too. She can be such a compassionate little girl; sometimes I'm in awe of how she takes care of her brothers. (And, true to her four-year-old roots, she sometimes irritates the living daylights out of them, just to get a reaction.)

Bradley was in the stake choir today during conference, so I enlisted my cousin Allyson Tobler to help me with the kids. Allyson moved into the ward about three years ago, and we figured out that we are descended from the same wife of polygamist pioneer Jacob Tobler. Cool! Anyway, she's a wonderful friend, and she is amazing with children. I actually made it through both hours of conference without too much stress.

The worst part was when Allyson left during the rest hymn for just a minute, and at that moment both Gee and Hebs decided to wig out. So I commanded the older two to STAY PUT and STAY QUIET, and hefted the younger boys out to the foyer. Zee and Em managed to stay put, but the stay quiet command was a little too much for them. The elderly ladies sitting in the pew behind us saved the day, though. When Allyson took Gee back inside the chapel (I went to feed the baby), she found Em sitting quietly with the ladies and Zee sitting in our pew, alone, contentedly drawing. And there Em stayed for the rest of the meeting, totally charming the ladies.

The only other hitch came before the closing prayer, which I gave. I knew Gee wasn't going to let me leave him to go give the prayer, but I sure wasn't going to hold him during it. Either way promised to be loud and embarrassing. So I took him up to the stand with me during the final chorus of the closing song, and then practically tossed him to his Daddy before calmly proceeding to the pulpit. And it worked! He was quiet.

I'm really grateful that the ladies in the row behind us weren't judgmental, and in fact helped us out wonderfully. And I didn't get their names! (But I did thank them profusely.)

*********
Overheard at the Ross home this week:

In a discussion about why some people are born blind, Zee said: But what if somebody is perfect, like me?

I was helping Gee say his prayers, and I prompted him to say, "Please help me not to scream whenever someone touchs my walker." Instead, he mumbled for a minute and then said clearly, "Walker." (Mumble) "Jayson." (Mumble) "Trouble." (Jayson is Gee's younger cousin. They have serious cousin rivalry issues.)

*********
Hebs busted out his first teeth on Friday, the two bottom front ones. I didn't even know he was teething. Either this makes me a bad mother for not noticing, or a lucky mother that teething doesn't bother him. Guess which one I'll go with?

********
Happy Father's Day to all my brothers and brothers-in-law, my wonderful, fabulous father-in-law George (on a mission with Grandma in Tobago, West Indies), and most of all to my Bradley. Thanks for being such an amazing daddy to my babies.

And I love and miss you, Daddy-of-mine. Every day.

Pork is a Nice, Sweet Meat

Swine flu is taking over my state. It is considered "widespread", we've had eight deaths, and Utah is considered one of the eleven state hot spots right now. In my ward, we have at least two confirmed cases, one a young woman and one a Primary-age boy. According to the Deseret News,

"And with so many confirmed H1N1 cases — more than 700 as of last week — he [state epidemiologist Dr. Robert Rolfs] said the state will begin to track only those who are hospitalized"

People like my friend Lindsay, whom I hugged and chatted with on last Saturday and Sunday, and who started feeling ill on Sunday night, aren't counted in that number, because she was able to start taking Tamiflu pretty quickly and is doing a lot better. And my friend Lisa, who just called to say she developed chills and fever on Friday night at the temple. (They had to wheel her out to her car in a wheelchair!) (And I was in an earlier session, so I didn't even know.) I spent three hours with her on Thursday night, in our RS meeting. She even gave me a ride home.

Intellectually, I know that if I get the H1N1 flu, it's going to be just fine in the long term (short term I might be pretty miserable). I know that if my husband gets it, he'll be fine, too. Even if my kids get it, chances are they'll be fine. Even if my pregnant sister gets it (Hebs has been hanging out at her house for the last week and next week during swim lessons), she'll be fine.

Probably.

It doesn't help that some people around me are more than slightly worried, it doesn't help to watch my friends get sick, it doesn't help that we are STILL not 100% over whatever has been plaguing us the last four weeks, and we still have coughs and slightly raw throats. The media, thankfully, has toned down the doom-and-gloom of early May, so at least they're not driving me batty.

I like to be prepared for things--it makes me feel more in control, so I don't stress as much. (Ask me sometime about the sheer crazy-level of preparedness I underwent between Gee's spina bifida diagnosis and birth. Psycho-levels, I tell you.) But I'm not sure how to prepare for swine flu, besides the obvious, like food, medicines, and loads of hand santiziters. What do we do if one of the adults gets sick? Do we pull the kids out of their long-awaited preschool? What if both of us gets sick at the same time? What about the class Bradley and I are teaching in a week?

I hate feeling like this!

(Edited to add: My friend Lisa ended up getting the "last" prescription of Tamiflu in Utah County. She had to call around to different pharmacies to find it, and ended up driving two towns over to fetch it.)

Milk and Uranium

Some people have too much time on their hands. And some people have more talent than they know what to do with.

Take, for example, the reviews at Amazon.com for this product: Tuscan Whole Milk

After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.

One should not be intimidated by Tuscan Whole Milk. Nor should one prejudge, despite the fact that Tuscan is non-vintage and comes in such large containers. Do not be fooled: this is not a jug milk. I always find it important to taste milk using high-quality stemware -- this is milk deserving of something better than a Flintstones plastic tumbler. One should pour just a small dollop and swirl it in the glass -- note the coating and look for clots or discoloration. And the color -- it should be opaque, and very, very white.

This milk worked well when I first got it, but within a few days it wouldn't hold a charge. I called their customer service department and, I don't know if it's in Bangalor or Ireland, but I couldn't understand a word that they said and they began to scream at me.

And then, of course, the reviews for a small tin of uranium ore:

The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was buying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price!

After laying out extensive amounts of cash for centrifuges and the attendant bribes for UN observers to have a severe case of blepharospasm when it came to my activities, I purchased one metric hundred tons (about 100,000,000 cans) of this ore, my previous source of yellowcake having mysteriously dried up....And in case you find yourself in my position, I can confidently report that Duncan Hines Classic Yellow Cake Mix is also a completely inadequate raw material for the same project. Not to mention the mess it makes in the centrifuges. I will be reviewing that later.

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

I recommend that, if you have a little time and need a little laugh, go read some of these reviews. They are hilarious.

Patterns? We don't need no stinkin' patterns!

I was all set to show you pictures of my new apron that I crafted out of old jeans and random lace (it was going to be really really cute, too!), except it turns out that I am lame, and I should really take the adage "Measure twice, cut once" to heart. Bummer.

Maybe I'll get over my discouragement and try to fix it tomorrow. If I do, then I will post pictures. Until then, I leave you with a really cute smile from a really cute boyo:

I See You!

I'm watching the water...

Is somebody watching me?

Oh! It's my favorite mommy!

I see you!

My Backyard Friends

As I embraced motherhood, I accepted the idea that I was going to be tormented by children's videos. After all, by definition they are created for and marketed to children. The thought of enduring song after song sung by Barney in that insipid voice...ugh! Even less-blatantly annoying shows like Strawberry Shortcake and He-Man don't hold up well to adult sensibilities. So I pretty much figured that irritating kids' TV shows was part of the bargain, like messy diapers and 3am feedings. (Which, by the way, have GOT TO STOP. Hebs, you're 7 months old now. Have pity!)

And, as it turns out, there ARE a lot of annoying childrens' shows around. (Dora's voice, anyone? Or Arthur's little sister D.W.'s whine? And where in the world are Max and Ruby's parents? Not to mention that creepy doped-out sloth in It's A Big Big World.) But I've been (pleasantly) surprised at how many good shows there are.

There's Cyberchase, a PBS math-oriented show starring Christopher Lloyd as The Hacker's voice. My five-year-old loves that one in particular, and loves explaining things to me ("a line is the shortest distance between two dots, Mom"). WordWorld, Word Girl, Super Why, Between the Lions--all great reading/word shows. Zula Patrol (space and science, I adore this show!) and Sid the Science Kid are both teaching my preschoolers amazing things. And the best part is: none of these shows are highly irritating. In fact, some of them are pretty fun on first viewing. (On seventh viewing, however, most are a bit dull.)

However, my hands-down, no-contest, very extremely favorite children's show is the Backyardigans. I can (and have) watch these shows repeatedly, time and again, over and over...and still laughed at appropriate places. Five friends meet in the backyard and imagine a new adventure every day, and sing adorable, catchy songs about it. Each episode uses a different genre of music in the songs. (Garage Rock, Calypso, Polka, Bassa Nova, Opera, etc.) And although there is often a moral-to-the-story (be prepared, don't give up, make friends, say thank you), the episodes are never preachy and are always light-hearted. (After all, the "make friends" episode has the "Legendary Luau Brothers" making friends with the "Volcano Sisters" so the luau isn't ruined by an erupting volcano. Not much preachy about that.) (Huka Pele!)

I highly recommend the Backyardigans, especially if you have kids. (And even if you don't.)

Do they come in Ladies Size 10?

When I bought Em her swimsuit for this summer, I decided to buy one of these:


It's called a board shirt, and it's made out of thick swimsuit material to provide coverage from the sun. Em has such fair skin, and burns so easily, I thought it would be better to give her a little more cover. (Especially on the back and the shoulders, since those parts of her never see the sun unless she's swimming.)

Today was the first day of swimming lessons, with Zee and Em in regular classes and Gee and me in the Mommy-and-me class. In the rush to drop Hebs off at my sister's house and get to the pool with enough time to let Gee walk using his walker, I forgot sunblock.

No problem, I thought. First, it's been downright chilly the last week, and the sky was at least partially clouded. Second, swimming lessons are only 30 minutes long. Third, Zee and Gee have a more olive skin tone that doesn't burn very readily. And Em has her little board shirt. All will be well.

I forgot one small detail: me. I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

Yes, I'm 32 years old, and I can't remember to apply sunblock to myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if they sell board shirts in my size. And get some aloe vera.

New fave

Really, really yummy. You should try them.


(I just wrote a big long angst-filled post about motherhood, and then decided not to post it. So this is what you get today.)

Garden Party Collages

Relief Society Garden Party

We had a beautiful garden party breakfast for the ladies in our ward today. The weather was amazing for us--despite rain before and rain after, and thunderstorms all week, and lots of worries--the party itself was warm, partly sunny, and could not have been more perfect. Prayer is a powerful tool!

I hope I got the names of some of the attendees right--if I didn't, be sure to tell me in the comments or in person, so I can fix it!

Thank you to all who made the event so beautiful and amazing, and to all who took time out of a busy Saturday to attend. It was a wonderful party!

Attention Magnet

It's a good thing I don't mind people paying attention to me. (Actually, I mind when they don't pay attention to me, but that's a post for another day.) Walking around with my Gee pretty much guarantees that everyone stops, looks, smiles, and admires him.

I imagine that a lot of this is because he is so little. There is something incredibly adorable about a determined two-year-old zooming around with his pint-sized walker. He's totally unself-conscious about it, too; obviously he is too little to know that there is anything unusual about it. He's just making his way in the world, and the fact that everyone stares and smiles and comments doesn't even register with him.

I wonder how it will be in a few years, if he still needs the walker (or even if he is using his crutches exclusively). Will he still love the attention? Will he hate it? Or will it just roll off his back, neither bothering nor delighting him?

And will the attention be different? Will the sweet woman who coos about how cute he is now make similar comments when he is five? Six? Twelve? (Probably not.) Will the acceptance and fascination that kids show him now continue when he is older?

I imagine it won't be the same. I don't know how much it will matter to him. I don't know how it will matter to me, the first time he is teased or shunned because of his disability. No one, disabled or not, makes it through life without some unpleasant experiences, but with Gee I can imagine them with a clarity I can't with my other kids.

So right now, I soak up the approving glances and comments. Why, yes, he is good with his walker. Yes, he is the cutest thing in the world. And, definitely, he is proud of himself for walking.

That's my baby, world. Keep being gentle with him.

My Favorite Volcanoes: Vulcan's Throne

I imagine everyone in the United States has a mental picture of what the Grand Canyon looks like, even if they've never seen it in person. Geologically speaking, it is spectacular and amazing--a slice into Earth's sedimentary history, hundreds of millions of years exposed to view. At the most-visited point (Yavapai Point, or Grand Canyon Village), the canyon floor is 5000 feet deep--almost a vertical mile down.

My favorite point in the Grand Canyon is far off the beaten path. (So far off, in fact, that you have to drive on dirt roads for at least 60 miles just to reach it.) It is Toroweap, a place where, roughly 1100 years ago, a cinder cone volcano erupted right on the canyon rim, sending rivers of basaltic lava cascading down the sides of the canyon.

In the middle right of the picture above, you can see the cinder cone (commonly called Vulcan's Throne) as well as the cascades of lava coating the canyon walls. The lava falls reached the canyon floor and actually dammed up the Colorado River for a time. Naturally, the river broke through after a relatively short time (exactly how long depends on who you ask; however, long enough to create some lake bed sediments upstream of the lava dams).

One of the most difficult rapids in the Grand Canyon is found here: Lava Falls. Much to my disappointment, despite the name, the rapids are not the result of remnants of the lava dams; they are caused by debris washed down from a nearby side canyon.

Lava falls cascading down the side of a 4000 foot high canyon wall? What more could you want? The Toroweap area offers more to the geologist and nature-lover, though. Around nearby Mount Turnbull, mantle nodules of lherzolite can be found. (I had just finished my first igneous petrology class when I visited Toroweap--finding these gorgeous fist-sized peridotites was like being in a candy store. Albeit a candy store of rusty red-colored rocks that you have to whack open with a sledge hammer to see the gorgeous green and black minerals inside.) (Yes, I'm strange, thanks for asking.)

One of the best parts about the Vulcan's Throne/Toroweap area is its isolation. Because of the difficulty in getting there, it is never crowded. While it is often very crowded (traffic jams! noisy crowds!) and occasionally hard to enjoy the main Grand Canyon area, Toroweap is very quiet. When I was there, I spent more than an hour laying flat on my stomach, nose over the edge of the canyon, staring down at the river thousands of feet below. I could hear nothing but the wind and the screech of a hawk or eagle, coasting below me in the canyon. Absolutely peaceful.

Firsts (and some stuff I've never done)

I was:

• first time seeing the ocean: 17 years old
  
• first airplane flight: 17 years old
  
• first overnight school trip: 18 years old
  
• first kiss: 19 years old
  
• first (and only) boyfriend (*waving* Hi, Bradley!): 19 years old
  
• first ER visit (for myself): 24 years old
  
• first car: 24 years old
  
• first traffic ticket: 25 years old
  
• first overnight hospital visit (Zee's birth): 26 years old
  
• first car accident (not my fault): 27 years old
  

I am 32, and I've never:

• gambled (born and raised in Vegas, even)
• been to NYC
• waterskiied (I can't even kneeboard, I'm pathetic)
• broken a bone
• gone a year with cavities (unless you count when I was a toothless baby)
• been outside North America (if you consider Hawaii part of North America, which politically it is, but geologically it isn't...)
• smoked
• consumed alcohol
• had a passport

What have you never done? (Or what took you a long time to do?)

Darwin is NOT a god

Reading an article in the New York Times, I was jarred by this statement (emphasis added):

“For me, that’s too much anthropomorphic thinking,” Dr. Palese said. “Look, I believe in Darwin. Yes, the fittest virus survives. But it’s not clear what the ultimate selection parameter is.”

I know what Dr. Palese means--it is nicely explained in his next sentence. But generally speaking, geologists don't say, "Look, I believe in Wegner (or Steno or Hutton or Lyell)" when discussing various geological principles, and mathematicians don't generally say, "Look, I believe in Euclid" when discussing algebra.

Many people who don't believe in evolution claim that by teaching Darwin's theories, we are teaching students to reject God. I disagree with this sentiment--I can believe that the theory of evolution explains many scientific observations without losing my firm faith in God. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way, and many have replaced their faith in God with faith in Darwin.

Look, Charles Darwin was a man--a brilliant one to be sure, but just a man. His theories are intriguing and explain much of what we know observe. But he and his theories are not infalliable, and may be modified or completely replaced in the future. One can believe and support his findings without "believing in Darwin."

My Little (Tattoo) Artist

Em draws on everything--including her legs, arms, and hands. It's not entirely clear to me what this is a drawing of, but that doesn't matter really. What matters is that:

• She is adorable
• Pen is surprising hard to get off skin
• Em is no longer allow to draw with pen unsupervised

MTFBWY and sometimes A

My darling sister LaDale's birthday is today--Happy happy birthday, LaDale, dear!

LaDale joined me in Hawaii for a few days in 2000. We had so much fun trying to see as much as we could. I'm so glad she came out; I'm even gladder she's my fabulous sister/best friend. I love you, LaDale!

LaDale in a kipuka

LaDale and her due date lava flow (she was actually born six weeks early)

LaDale at the Green Sand Beach

LaDale and Keryn at the Green Sand Beach (not turning our backs to the ocean)

Waiting for the Bride and Groom

I took these pictures yesterday at Lauren's wedding, after the ceremony but before the bride and groom came out of the temple for pictures. (It was an absolutely beautiful day, except the 3-minute downpour just minutes before Lauren and Devin came out. Oh well. The clouds helped the temperature to stay comfortable, and the kids had a marvelous time playing with the puddles.)

I very much enjoyed the ceremony itself; the sealer had some beautiful and thought-provoking things to say, and of course it was wonderful to watch Lauren and Devin become a family. Hanging out with all of my Ross brothers and sisters and kids was a blast, as normal--I married into the most amazing family! And the reception...

I didn't take my camera into the reception because I had my hands full with four restless, tired-of-being-out kids, but I'll make sure to snag some pictures from my sisters-in-law. The reception was held at a place called "Le Jardin" (there's a movie at the link that shows the area beautifully), which basically was a giant greenhouse with gorgeous lush plants and flowers, fountains everywhere, little nooks with garden tables and sweet padded benches, gravel and cobble paths that wound around everywhere, gazebos and lattices and...it was amazing. And a wonderland for the kids--so many places to play hide-and-seek, tag, exploring, and whatever else caught their fancy. (To add to the heaven, the refreshments were ice cream filled waffle bowls. One of my five-year-old nephews had three servings in the first half-hour.)

I'll bet Lauren and Kim (her mother) were glad they chose the greenhouse for the reception--apparently the options were Kim's backyard or Le Jardin. The weather that night was definitely inclement--a little rain, but the real problem was the wind. I think it must have been blowing all the way across the west desert, because the air was thick and hazy and full of dust. Not a beautiful night, but you wouldn't have known it from inside the greenhouse. It was a perfect evening!

Lauren's Big Day

Today my very pretty and accomplished niece Lauren is marrying her sweetheart Devin in the Salt Lake Temple. We're going to be up in SLC all day for the festivities, and I'm taking my camera so I can get cute pictures of my kids waiting outside the temple. Oh, I'm sure I'll get one or two pictures of the bride and groom, too--but they won't be nearly as amazing as the formal bridal portraits--check them out here.

Summertime...

When your children aren't in school yet, summertime really isn't very different than any other time of year. Any changes in our schedule are dictated more by the weather and holidays than anything else. We play outside earlier in the day (both to avoid the heat and avoid the "crowds" at our park). We throw a huge party on the 24th of July to watch the parade (you are all invited--the parade route goes right in front of our house). We go up to the mountains for an Independence Day breakfast. Other than that, our days are usually the same as they are in the winter, spring, and fall.

Not this year. This year Zee and Em are signed up for BYU's preschool program. Zee is SO excited, Em is excited because Zee is excited, and I admit to a good deal of excitement as well. (The heady excitement of having only TWO children to deal with in the mornings!) But I think it will be a really good thing for Zee especially to have a small taste of school before starting kindergarten in the fall.

We also have swimming lessons--all of us except Baby Hebs. Zee went last year, but this will be Em's first year in a non-Mommy-and-me class, and she is very very excited. Gee and I will do the Mommy-and-me class, and my sister Telima will watch the baby.

There is something else I want to do this summer, this last summer before Zee goes to school. I want to try to go up to the mountains at least once a week. Even if all we do is go up to Vivian Park and play on the jungle gym, I want to get out in the beautiful mountains a lot this summer. And without a goal, I'm toast--I just won't do it.

We'll see how it works!

From three pictures...

...we can discover many things:

• My children love their baby brother very very much. (I swear I didn't pose them. They each crawled under there at different times in one day.)

• My children have wild hair. (They take after their mother, I'm afraid.)

• Black carpet shows every single crumb ever dropped upon the ground. (And, with four small children, I'm afraid there are many, many crumbs dropped.)

• I have really, really adorable children.

Mama Called the Doctor...

Zee decided to play doctor today. (Before anyone panics, he was playing doctor in the most innocent, very very cute sense of the phrase. I know because we played it together.)

He saw Em laying down, and so he "cleaned" off her leg (rubbed it with various toys), and then used a My Little Pony comb to give her shots. And then he came and gave me my shots, and listened to my heart (with a pink plastic heart ring that he pressed to my stomach, and then moved the ring to his ear and counted quietly). He then told me my heart was "pretty quiet" right now. Next he pressed two plastic toy camels to my shins, and "typed" on his "computer" (a non-electronic math toy with buttons) to show me that my bone growth was "just right". (Just like our doctor, who plots the kids' growth on his tablet laptop and then shows you where you land on the curves.)

Of course then Em needed to be the doctor, and so she rubbed my head, and told me everything was okay, and that she was the girl doctor. (She meant she was the nurse. Gender roles! I had nothing to do with it, except that our doctor is a man and his nurse is a woman...)

Speaking of Em, she's my little artist. She draws the most amazing pictures, of men in bubbles, of people with wild and crazy hair, of babies and aliens and all. She is far more interested in coloring than Zee ever has been--she is patient and will color the entire picture, whereas Zee just puts a little color down and calls it done, and Gee is just at the scribbling stage. I need to get her some little art pads so she can be a real artist, and so that we have a record of her stuff at this age. That's what my parents did for me, and I thought that I was a real artist, and it shaped my life and the development of my artistic talents. I want that for her. If it's something she wants to do, then I want her to know she can do it.

Wedding Garter

(Well, I had a cute video of Hebs eating up his baby food (he's like a miniature velociraptor) to post for today, and the video editing program is rebelling. I could just slap up the raw video, but eight minutes of me feeding Hebs just isn't have enthralling. So you'll have to wait for the exciting conclusion to the (food) fight of the century. In the meantime, here is the wedding garter story I referenced earlier.)

Because Bradley and I chose to get married in October, Bradley loved to tease me about having orange and black for our wedding colors. Standing firm against all things Halloween, however, I vetoed his ideas, and we went with dark red and silver. He joked about it often, though, and so when my mother, sister, and I were at a bridal shop and I saw a black lacey garter...I couldn't resist. Without letting Bradley know anything about it, I bought the garter, several lengths of orange ribbon, and about five black plastic spiders (the latter two items were purchased at a craft store, not at the bridal shop).

I then crafted a lovely Bride-of-Frankenstein-style garter. And when Bradley said he didn't really want to do the whole take-the-garter-off-and-throw-it-to-the-single-guys thing, I told him that was fine, but I wanted to at least get a few pictures with the garter before the reception started. (Our photographer was in on the whole thing, so she made sure to get tons of pictures.)


There you go: my wedding garter story.