I've already been to first grade, thanks

Every week, my first grader, Em, has a homework packet to complete.  The work is not onerous or majorly time-consuming (though I question the need for homework in the lower grades), and she can get the whole packet finished in less than an hour.  A little spelling, reading, handwriting, phonics, and math...no big deal.

Except the blasted word families.

Each packet has two word family "houses" to complete.  For example, one word family could be "__ay" words:  cay, ray, day, may, fay, lay, jay, bay, say, way, pay, pray, stray.  The child is supposed to come up with eight (on easy families) or six (for the harder ones) words and write them down.

This is no big deal, until you get to the more obscure word families.  Like this week's homework.

The two word families for this week are "__igh" and "__ight".  The "-ight" family is no big deal, but the "-igh" family?  How many words do YOU know that end in "-igh"?

Em came up with "high" and "sigh" on her own, and then came to me for help with the last four blank spots.  Off the top of my head I thought of "thigh".  With some struggle I came up with "weigh" (which, does that even belong in the same word family?  It has a completely different sound!), and then I was...stumped.

Thank heavens for google.  I searched for "words that end in -igh", and ended up with a list of 22.  Some of which definitely shouldn't count.  What the heck is "quaigh" or "laigh" or "skreigh"?  (A two handed Scottish drinking vessel, a Scottish variant of "low", and a Scottish word for shriek, respectively.)

All first graders should know those words, right?  In SCOTLAND.

Argh.  I hate homework for parents.

No. Just No.

This handy-dandy helmet is for children, but not while they are riding bikes, or horses, or rocket ships.  No, it is for your toddlers as they learn to walk.

The description states:

Help to protect your child from head injuries with this wear-all Thudguard protective foam helmet and reduce parental anxiety as your child discovers the world around them.

And now for the low low price of $42.95, peace of mind can be YOURS.

(I am ashamed to say I am both repelled and allured by this product.  I admit that, had I known about them, I might have considered procuring one of these for my Gee, when he was young.  I was crazily worried about his shunt.  But I am 100% sure I wouldn't have gone through with it.)

Lo, she reappears...

Today I received the long-waited email from BYU's Continuing Education Department, concerning my application to present a series of geology lectures at this year's Education Week.  To cut right to the chase: No, I wasn't accepted.

Bummer.  

I'm not really surprised by the result, but I will admit to being a little disappointed.  I suppose I had gotten my hopes up a little too much.

The email didn't give any feedback; it was a standard form rejection letter--we had over 500 applicants, only 200 spots, we appreciate you sharing your talents, etc.  I suspect that I wasn't accepted because of lack of credentials, or possibly because they realized that most people don't go to EdWeek at BYU to learn about geology.

Oh, well.  I had a thoroughly enjoyable time researching, preparing, and giving my sample lecture on Mount Saint Helens, as well as outlining the other three lectures.  Whatever the result, I'm glad I tried.

My Girl

She's been giving me (and her teacher) fits lately, but I do love her so completely.  She is quick-tempered and prone to dramatic overreaction, but she is also compassionate, kind, funny, smart, and a lot of fun.

I'm glad she's mine.

Science Fairing...

The elementary school's science fair is only eight days away...YIKES!  I have spent the day making signs, ordering prizes and certificates, and creating judging rubrics.  The big question is...how many projects do you think will show up?  I am really hoping for 50-60 (around ten per grade level), but that might be laughably high.  I have no idea.  I guess we'll just wait and see!

What a Friday...

Friday my sweet sister Telima decided to come down from Sandy (about 50 minutes away) to take me to lunch as a belated birthday present.  Her children were out of school, and my three youngest were at home as well, so it was the two moms with six kids five and under.  (Telima's four-year-old son wasn't acting entirely himself, but we didn't think anything of it.)

We chose IHOP, because we figured they would be more...welcoming...to such a brood.

(Poor things.)

We were seated, and had a fairly longish wait until our waitress was able to come take our order.  In the meantime, the four older children had unwrapped all the utensils, colored on the paper placemats, and dropped numerous items.  Jay was playing on his mother's iPod, and Yummy was playing with a little toy.  Seconds after the waitress left, it happened.

Jay threw up.

All over the iPod (fortunately well protected by a case), all over himself, all over the chair and all over the floor.

Well.

I hopped up and ran after the waitress, everyone in our general vicinity staring.  Apologizing profusely, I asked her to cancel our order, and hurried back to the table.  While poor Telima cleaned up as best she could, I herded the non-sick kiddos to the lobby.  They were surprisingly compliant, thankfully.  I wanted to leave a tip, but neither Telima nor I had any cash, and we hadn't bought any food!  The poor cashier couldn't figure it out.  I felt so bad about the mess and the time and everything, I eventually bought a five dollar gift card just so I could leave a five dollar tip.

So.  No lunch, and no hanging out with my Telima, because she went home right away with her poor kids.  Bummer, but what can you do?  That's life with kids.  (I sure hope you are feeling better, Jay!)

The rest of the day was fairly normal, if a little restrictive, because my poor Yummy has a dreadful cold.  She hadn't been sleeping well, and took an impromptu nap in my arms for several hours that afternoon.

That is, it was normal until about seven-thirty in the evening.  As Bradley and I lounged on our bed, and the children made forts on the stairs' landing...we heard a heavy object tumble down the stairs.  Nobody started crying, and we could hear all the kids, so we thought nothing of it.

Until Zee hollered, "Mommy!  Daddy!  Yum Yum threw a paint can down the stairs!  There's paint EVERYWHERE!"

Indeed there was.  Fortunately, the gallon-sized can of paint (previously unopened, white, outdoor latex paint) flew open at the bottom of the stairs, so the puddles and splashes were limited to the lowest two stairs, the carpet at the bottom, the quilts piled there from earlier, the baby gate that the kids were playing with, the linen closet doors, the towels and shelves in the linen closet, and various other miscellaneous objects.  Like Yum Yum herself.

Lucky for us, after thirty minutes of scrubbing, rinsing, soaking, rubbing, and discarding, most of the damage was only temporary.  Puddles of wet white paint can be removed from carpet surprisingly easily.  Ditto when it is on anything non-fabric.  And get this--I was SO distraught about my gorgeous star quilt that Eva made for us years ago, because it bore the brunt of the paint.  And even after we rinsed and rinsed it in the bathtub, it didn't look good.

But after four runs through the washing machine, it barely looks damaged at all!  The dark blue back is a little speckled, and one part of the red border as well, but other than that...I'm so relieved.

So:  the moral of this (too long) story:  Don't take a normally-active-and-busy-but-acting-suspiciously-quiet-and-docile nephew out to a restaurant, and don't leave a full can of white paint at the top of the stairs.  Even if it has never been opened.  Even if you are going to take it out to the shed "soon".  Just don't.

"My Family"

"My Family"

"Oct. 2, '84"

"My family is LaDonna, Mike, LaDale, Jenafer, myself, David, Samuel and Tealma.  We have a work day.  It is Saturday.  We don't have pets.  My mom can make a dress.  She made the dress I have got on today (10-1-84).  My sisters and I take panio lessons.  My dad has a office.  He is a C.P.A.  My dad's office used to be a home of someone.  It has a swimming pool.  The End. By:  Keryn Tobler"

I found this story in the box of memorabilia my mother brought up to me last November.  Just seeing it brought back so many memories (which, I suppose, is the point of memorabilia).  With the new scanner I received for my birthday (thanks, darling!), I am trying to digitize most of the stuff, so we don't have to heft it around forever.

This particular story is very special to me.  I remember that my daddy really liked it, and even hung it up on the wall in our hallway for a while.  I am amused at what I thought was important.  The fact that we cleaned the house on Saturday.  The fact that my sisters and I were taking piano lessons.  And, most significant of all, the fact that my dad's office--which used to be a residence--had a swimming pool.  Of course, that was pretty cool.  

Looking at the picture now, I am a little amazed at the level of detail I got into that little crayon drawing.  The carpet in our living room was green.  The walls were that awful white fake wood paneling.  My parents' wedding picture hung on the wall in a golden oval frames.  There was a brick stage-like thing in the corner of the room, with a cast-iron stove and a wrought-iron gate surrounding it.  The old stereo (records, cassettes, radio, and even 8-track!) hooked up to the speakers with long black wires.

My mother is sewing something red, my father is massaging? her shoulders.  The sister wearing glasses is Jenafer (she's reading a book, naturally), then the baby is Telima (sorry about the spelling!), who was only six months old at the time.  The sister with the dark hair is LaDale, and I haven't a clue what she is doing with her hands.  Then the last girl is me, with the really orange skin.  (No, I didn't fake-bake.  I just didn't realize that I had to use the orange crayon really, really lightly if I wanted that peachy skin tone.)

David and Samuel are playing below the girls.  David is carrying Samuel on his back.  From the yellowish bat sticking out of Samuel's shirt, I can deduce that they are playing He-Man (Samuel) and Battle Cat (David).  The bat, of course, is He-Man's sword.  (And this makes me laugh, because my little Hebs was putting a kitchen spatula in the back of his shirt just this evening.  And for the same reason.)

When I was young, I fancied myself quite the artist.  As I became an adult, I began to realize that my little talent wasn't anything special.  But now, in my mid-thirties, I can appreciate what I was able to do, even as a seven-year-old.  Any picture that brings back so many memories, 28 years later, isn't too shabby.