Heart, broken

Today my heart nearly broke during my little five-year-old Gee's bedtime prayer.

"Please bless me that I don't have spina bifida."

I knew the time would come--soon, even--that he would start understanding the very real limitations his disability places on him.  I just didn't expect it so soon.  

I know it is my job to help him accept his life, with the good and the bad.  And it is going to be a continuing process.  And I'm trying.  

After his prayer, he looked up at me.  "Did you hear the part about spina bifida?"

"Yes, sweetheart.  I did...did you know?  When you are resurrected, after you die, you won't have spina bifida anymore!"

"I don't want it to come back," he said plaintively.

"It won't, after you are resurrected.  But that is a long time from now--after you die when you are an old man."

"But I don't want it to be a long time!"

"I know, sweetheart.  That's just the way your body is...time for bed!  Do you want a drink?"

Explanation and distraction.  It's all I've got right now.  And probably it is enough, for a five-year-old.  For now.

Birthday Wishes

In no particular order...

(Like I need more handheld electronics)

 (A mom can dream, can't she?)

(Self-explanatory) 

(Ooooh, rubies)

 (Also self-explanatory)

(Without the kids hollering at me through the door)

And then for dinner...

This.

Or this.

Or perhaps this.  I haven't decided yet.

Enjoy the Journey

I've been asked to speak at our stake's Relief Society Winter Social in a few weeks.  The topic is "Enjoy the Journey", and my specific topic is about finding joy in everyday life.  Because my part of the event is a workshop, I get to do it twice, twenty minutes each.

I am excited/humbled/nervous about it.  Excited because I really do enjoy public speaking (especially in small setting with audience participation!), humbled because they asked me, and nervous because I want to make the event worthwhile for anyone who comes.  I am especially concerned about not coming across like a) I have all the answers, and b) being happy is EASY, especially when your life is, you know, seriously so blessed.  Just like mine, with roses blooming beneath my feet (ow, the thorns!) and all the earth a garden sweet.*

In all honesty, I do believe that all of us can find joy in our journeys, no matter how rocky or slow or dusty.  Or even if it isn't the journey we were expecting to make.  Sometimes it might be easier, sometimes harder, but with the Lord's help, always possible.

So, my friends in the computer, do you have any advice?  Suggestions?  Warning?  Lay it on me, I want to hear it all.  And I appreciate in advance any help you might have to give.

*Despite the fact that I love to make fun of the hymn "Love At Home", I actually like it.  The principles taught in the verses are true, even if the delivery is a bit...um... saccharine.

Yummy nothingness

Once again we see that when I have something to deal with--something largely unbloggable--I can't seem to blog at all.  It's a little strange, when you consider I don't have any trouble talking when I am dealing with something big.  Or, you know, ever.

So!  We've embarked on the next step of Gee's life (as pertains to his spina bifida), and hope that potty training (such as it will be) will soon follow.  It isn't easy, but it is getting easier, and there you go!

And now I will tell you what I had for lunch, because clearly y'all care very deeply about that.

Today I made crepes, using the recipe in the big red Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.  (The cookbook that my mother had, a copy of which cookbook she gave all her children when they moved out, the best basic cookbook of all.)  And then I put yummy things in the crepes, like lemon curd, or turkey and swiss cheese, or butter and powdered sugar.  (But not all in the same crepe, duh.)

Wow.  That was riveting.  Hopefully tomorrow will be more scintillating.

Dorothy Buck Peters, 1918 - 2012

Dorothy and her younger brother, George

Bradley's maternal grandmother, Dorothy Amalia Buck Peters, died today at the age of 93.  She was an amazing woman who lived a long and full life.

She raised an amazing daughter, my mother-in-law.

I met her for the first time when I was pregnant with Zee.  Bradley and I took a vacation to California, and spent some time interviewing her about her life on video.  She told stories about raising her children, about working for the Rio Grande Railway during WWII, about manufacturing hot water heaters, about living with the many animals her husband raised.

My children met her for the first time on right around Hebs' first birthday, when Grandma Peters moved to South Jordan to live with Grandma and Grandpa Ross.  Over the last two years, we've been able to visit her, both when she lived in George and Eva's home and then when she was in the rest home.

We got to see her one last time on Christmas Day, as we (quietly) caroled and gave her hugs.  Although she didn't always remember who we were, she always welcomed us and thoroughly enjoyed the children.

We'll miss you, Grandma Peters.  We love you!

Bringing Politics Into a Tragedy Is Lame

I was going to write about my New Year's Resolutions today, but you know what?  They are boring.  I'm going to try to make dinner very weeknight (already failing, but I'm sick today), and I'm going to read the Doctrine and Covenants in two weeks, sometime in January.  Very exciting, don't you think?  There is a ton that will be going on this year, with or without resolutions from me, and most depend on things outside of my control.  (For example, Education Week.  Or moving to a new house this summer.)

So you get a little social/political commentary from me instead.

On New Year's Day, a Mount Rainier National Park Ranger was shot and killed by an allegedly PTSD Iraq vet.  The shooter is implicated in an earlier shooting this weekend, and it appears he was trying to hide out in the national park.  The park ranger, a 34-year-old woman named Margaret Anderson, was killed, before she could even exit her car, at a roadblock that had been set up after the shooter blew through a snow-tire checkpoint.

It's a very sad story, and I'm heartbroken for her husband and two young daughters.  The shooter's body was found today--it appears that he died of exposure.

Now for my commentary:  In the news story from the AP linked above (at Deseret News), the following paragraph is found on the second page:

The shooting renewed debate about a federal law that made it legal for people to take loaded weapons into national parks. The 2010 law made possession of firearms subject to state gun laws. Bill Wade, the outgoing chair of the Coalition of National Park Service Retirees, said Congress should be regretting its decision. "The many congressmen and senators that voted for the legislation that allowed loaded weapons to be brought into the parks ought to be feeling pretty bad right now," said Wade.

What???

What exactly about this situation would have been changed by not allowing loaded weapons into national parks?  The shooter had already wounded four people, two of them critically, and had blown through a checkpoint.  This wasn't an accidental shooting, or a drunk individual getting into a fight with someone else and, having access to a loaded weapon, killed someone.

This law did not make a SINGLE difference in this situation.  And Mr. Bill Wade thinks that people who voted for the legislation should feel BAD?

No, Mr. Wade, I think that it is YOU who should feel bad about bring politics into this situation.

2012 Wish

Because I was born on the twelfth day of the year, twelve has always been my lucky number.  (Insofar as I have needed a lucky number, that is.  Not being a roulette or lottery player severely limits the lucky number opportunities.)  When I was growing up, you had to have a lucky number, just like you had to have a favorite color (um...grey? Green?), favorite animal (I'm rather partial to tigers--they fascinate me and scare me in equal measure), and a favorite food (depends on the time of day, day of the week, etc, but right now, Cafe Rio steak taco salad with house dressing...yummmmmmm).

I seem to have wandered away from my point, such as it is.

Is this going to be my lucky year?  It's the only "12" year I will be alive to see, so if I was going to have a lucky year, this is it.  But how could this year be any luckier than last year, or the year before that and that and that?  (Replace "lucky" with "blessed beyond measure by a loving God.")

So this is my New Year wish:  That this year will be just as full of love and laughter, happiness and joy, sorrow and trial, and growth as last year was.

Happy New Year to all!