Relief Society Retreat

Our women's group at church had an overnight retreat this weekend, held at a member's cabin down at Schofield Reservoir. After Bradley got home last night, I drove down with another late-goer--it's about a ninety minute drive. (Mema left with the earliest group at around ten, and another group left at three.)

It was so fun! Like a giant slumber party with ladies from 18 to...um...seventy-something. We ate really well, thanks to two husbands who came with their wives, and shared spiritual thoughts as well as absolutely ridiculous games (anyone remember "In the manner of the adverb"?), and stayed up late. Crazy fun.

I was really grateful to get to know everyone better--it's a process that is slow but sure (I hope!).

(I didn't take any pictures, but stole these from my new friend Cary.)

A few of us went on a walk this morning, and there was a draw full of these lacy weeds, each one coated with hundreds of dew droplets. Gorgeous!

 

Down at the water's edge, inspecting the (dead) crawdads. (I'm the farthest left)

Enjoy the Journey

I've been asked to speak at our stake's Relief Society Winter Social in a few weeks.  The topic is "Enjoy the Journey", and my specific topic is about finding joy in everyday life.  Because my part of the event is a workshop, I get to do it twice, twenty minutes each.

I am excited/humbled/nervous about it.  Excited because I really do enjoy public speaking (especially in small setting with audience participation!), humbled because they asked me, and nervous because I want to make the event worthwhile for anyone who comes.  I am especially concerned about not coming across like a) I have all the answers, and b) being happy is EASY, especially when your life is, you know, seriously so blessed.  Just like mine, with roses blooming beneath my feet (ow, the thorns!) and all the earth a garden sweet.*

In all honesty, I do believe that all of us can find joy in our journeys, no matter how rocky or slow or dusty.  Or even if it isn't the journey we were expecting to make.  Sometimes it might be easier, sometimes harder, but with the Lord's help, always possible.

So, my friends in the computer, do you have any advice?  Suggestions?  Warning?  Lay it on me, I want to hear it all.  And I appreciate in advance any help you might have to give.

*Despite the fact that I love to make fun of the hymn "Love At Home", I actually like it.  The principles taught in the verses are true, even if the delivery is a bit...um... saccharine.

Aspiring to become

How often have you heard that women are nurturing? Compassionate? Spiritually in tune? Patient? Sweet? It's a pretty common theme, especially in the church. We hear it from general authorities, local authorities, our own Relief Society teachers. And it is nice to hear, sometimes. But occasionally I worry that these remarks have the opposite effect than that which is intended.

In the book NutureShock, the authors cite research studying the effect of praise on fifth grade students. In a nutshell, the children who were told they were "smart" were less likely to work hard and tackle difficult subjects, while the children who were told they were "hard workers" were more willing to try harder tasks. Apparently, the "smart" children considered their intelligence innate, while the "hard worker" children considered their (equal) intelligence something they could improve.

If you are told that women, as a gender, are patient, kind, loving, and spiritually superior, and you are feeling anything but those things, it can be pretty disheartening. And putting the emphasis on what women are rather than what they can become is extremely limiting. If you aren't already those things, what's the point of even trying? If these talents are supposed to be innate, then obviously you are a failure.

The opposite is also true. Once you start focusing on what you can become, the only limits are the ones you place upon yourself. If I want to become more nurturing, more maternal, more loving-patient-kind-sweet, Christlike--I can. I just have to work harder. And the Lord will help me, because this is what he wants me to become.

______________________________________

(This was the basic gist of my Relief Society lesson today.)

Create

Freezer Meals

I first got into freezer cooking in the months before Gee's birth. After we found out about his spina bifida, I went into a frenzy of preparation in reaction to the uncertainty I felt about his birth. (This included making homemade Christmas gifts for everyone in the world and cleaning and sewing and revamping my house for an extended stay by my mother and my sister.) We also bought a chest freezer to put in our basement, and filled it with meals and meat and bread. You'd have thought we were preparing for the apocalypse, the way I went about getting ready for that boy's birth.

(To be fair, we really didn't know what to expect. There was no way of knowing if Gee would have to be in the hospital for weeks or even months. As it turned out, he came home 5 days after his birth. Even Hebs took longer than that, what with his bilirubin and hematocrit troubles.)

Anyway, the point is this: freezer cooking turned out to be something pretty cool. I truly enjoy having meals in the freezer, ready to be thawed, cooked, and eaten by my family or someone else's family. I admit to being a dabbler, though--I've done the "spend all day cooking so you have 10 meals in the freezer", and I hated it. But I don't mind making an extra casserole or twice as much sauce, and sticking the leftovers in the freezer. And I adore having already-cooked chicken or hamburger just waiting to be thawed and dumped into the mix.

So yesterday I taught a Relief Society class on freezer cooking. We had a good turnout--probably 15 people--and I had prepared three freezer-meal samplers (and smoothies!) for refreshments. We had a great time sharing ideas and just talking things over.

I made some handouts with recipes for the class--you can download it here, if you are interested.

Relief Society Autumn Dinner

The Relief Society Fall Fling was a marvelous success. The turkey dinner was delicious, the company was wonderful, and the babysitters (thank you Jordan and Ben!) were very good at keeping my children busy and happy. The cleanup wasn't impossible, and we actually got home at 9pm, which is, any way you look at it, amazing.

Most of the guests good-naturedly allowed me to take their pictures. I know it is silly, but I think about how interesting it is to look at pictures taken at ward events 20+ years ago. Someday these might be just as intriguing to look at.

Talents were shared, mostly through displays. For me, I was a little humbled to realize the amount of creative genesis in our ward. Wow! (Let me tell you, the tatting in particular amazed me, probably because I tried to learn tatting and failed miserably. Sister M is a master at it--the gorgeous framed doily is her work.) And many many many thanks to Kimberly B. for playing that jazz number--it was the perfect mood with which to end the evening!

There is now an unexpected turkey breast cooking in my oven

Thing the First: I hate feeling out of the loop on an event that, for all intents and purposes, I should know everything about. Three facts: (1) Tonight is our RS Fall Fling dinner (husbands invited). (2) Of our RS presidency, I am the easiest to reach during the day. (3) I am completely in the dark about the event, because of last month's swine flu and because I am the education counselor.

I have now recieved four telephone calls and two after-school pickup conversations about the dinner tonight. Of those six encounters, I was able to help with exactly one: The turkey cooking in my oven. All the conversations ended with me apologizing and passing out other people's telephone numbers.

The latest phone call had to do with the Young Women (or the lack thereof) who were to provide a nursery. My husband is helping his grandmother move, and so he isn't around to help tonight. And so...well, with four rambunctious children of my own, I'm pretty sure I'll volunteer to do the nursery. It's not so fair to make someone else watch my crazy kids. And speaking of kids...

Thing the Second: How do you stop a six-year-old and a four-year-old from WHINING every second of the day? Time outs? Privilege revocation? Voodoo? Please leave your advice in the comments. Otherwise, I may have to sell my two oldest kids, and that would be a real pity, since they are just now getting old enough to do chores.

Thing the Third: I adore autumn. This week has been so amazingly beautiful, with bright yellow leaves and just a hint of chill in the day and yummy, smoky smells at night. We've tried to walk to and from school everyday this week so far, and it has been a pleasure.

Thing the Fourth: I got a telephone called today from "anonymous", which is almost always an unsolicited call from a survey or charity. Today, however, it was almost certainly a call from a scammer of some kind or another. First: he didn't ask for me or Bradley by name, just "May I speak to the homeowner?" Second: He had exactly two "survey" questions: "Are you concerned about the economy?" and "On a scale of 1 to 10, how worried about the economy are you?" Except that he wasn't following a script, because when I asked him to repeat the question (a combination of a really bad connection, talking children, and his rather difficult to decipher accent), he phrased it differently every time. Not having a script is a pretty good indication of scamming. Finally, and most glaringly, after the two questions, he told me I qualified for a prize. Riiiight. I told him I wasn't interested and please take me off the list, he protested that it was a PRIZE! I demurred, he again said but it's a PRIZE!, and then I again told him to take me off his list and hung up.

When I was telling my sister Telima about it later, it occurred to me that I should have strung him along, just to see what I had to do for this PRIZE. It would have been a better story then. But, alas, with noisy children and difficult accents, it just wasn't worth it to me. Sigh.

Sanctification

Today was my turn to give the presidency lesson in Relief Society. I was really struggling with my topic--should I talk about testimony? Service? Temples? Family? Agency? I finally settled on sanctification--that is, becoming as Christ. Wow, is that a weighty topic! And in only fifteen minutes, no less! (We always leave fifteen minutes for testimonies on Fast Sunday.)

Since my marriage eight years ago, I've spent most of my church service in Young Women and Primary. Only in the last 9 months have I been able to attend adult Sunday School and Relief Society. I adore the Primary, but we don't talk a lot about sanctification. In Primary, the focus is testimony: What is it? How do I receive my own? How do I recognize it? How can I strengthen my testimony? These discussions are perfectly for Primary-aged children.

But there is so much more for us to learn.

Elder Glenn L. Pace wrote a book titled "Spiritual Plateaus." In this book, he discusses the need for a strong testimony, but then continues by stating that having a testimony is only part of the process toward exaltation. Knowing that Jesus Christ completed the atonement for us, that God loves us, that Joseph Smith restored the true gospel to the earth--this is the first step. What we do with our knowledge is the true measure of our commitment to Christ--of our determination to become true Christians.

In my lesson today, I asked the sisters in our Relief Society class to discuss ways that we can become sanctified, using Elder Pace's ideas as a springboard. One sister brought up ordinances, both the ordinances within the temple as well as baptism and confirmation. We cannot progress without these sacred ordinances. Another sister mentioned scripture and conference talk study. In his book, Elder Pace brings up a very good point: how can we expect to be blessed by personal revelation if we are not reading the revelations God has already given us? Prayer was brought up--the way we communicate with heaven, whether in gratitude or begging for help. As is said in the Bible Dictionary, prayer is the way we try to bring our will in alignment with the will of God.

All of the actions we discussed to this point are inward-facing actions--ones that mostly enrich our own lives. But outward-facing actions--service, kindness, patience, and love for others--are equally important in becoming as Christ. We talked about serving even when we are tired, of being patience when all we want to do is scream, of listening even when we don't want to. Each of these actions bring us a little closer to sanctification.

For all that we only had fifteen minutes for the lesson, I really felt we had a good discussion. Certainly it gave me a lot of things to think about. It is so easy to get caught up in the everyday needs of young family life--I have been seriously slacking in my progress toward becoming as Christ. I can do better. I want to do better.

Faith in Suffering

A dear sister in our ward passed away this week, and her funeral was Saturday.

Brother and Sister A. were some of the first people to welcome us to our new ward almost five years ago. They were just about done raising their large family, with only the youngest of six still in high school. They were in a marvelous place in their lives, with time for grandchildren, genealogy, civic work, and vacations, in addition to both having enjoyable jobs. They were very much considered stalwart members of the ward and community.

Sister A. in particular was like a quiet ray of sunshine. She always had a smile, was always ready with a hello, a hug, a piece of needed counsel. She wrote little notes of encouragement or thanks, and sent them through the mail to brighten someone's day. Sister A. loved her ancestors, and worked hard on her family history as well as the history of our little town. She was a school teacher who adored teaching children how to read.

A few weeks before my father died of lung cancer, three years ago, Sister A. was diagnosed with the same disease. I remember that I learned of it when I returned from Daddy's funeral in Las Vegas. One doesn't expect to know that many LDS people with lung cancer; for me, Sister A. was the third person in seven years. None of the three (my father and grandfather being the other two) had ever smoked a cigarette.

Sister A. began to undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatments, with the attendant physical effects. Her step was slower, she missed more church, but when I saw her, she still smiled.

Then, only a few months after her diagnosis, cancer struck again. This time, though, it was her husband, Brother A., diagnosed with (if I recall correctly) colon cancer. For a time they underwent treatments together. Their family pulled together, and the ward and community tried to help where possible.

Brother A. only lived a few months after his diagnosis. With her beloved companion gone, Sister A. continued to fight her cancer, gaining a sort of remission for more than a year. She knew she didn't have much time, so she filled that eighteen months with as many activities as she could. She visited Iceland, the home of her ancestors (and had tea with the president of Iceland!). She worked hard on her family histories, finishing her father's, her own, and many others besides. She tended one of her grandsons, so his mother and father could work. She was active in the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers. She quilted and gardened and crocheted (she made my baby Hebs a beautiful blanket, bib, and burp cloth set with a pretty crocheted edging).

About nine months ago, the cancer returned. Sister A. made it a point to bear her testimony every Fast Sunday she could make it to church. She spoke of the simple, basic things of the Gospel--the Atonement, the Plan of Happiness, her love of the temple, her husband, her children. Her faith was obvious--when I would see her, sitting on the back row in the chapel next to her youngest daughter, now in college, I would barely notice her increasing fragility. Her faith and peace completely eclipsed her physical problems, so that I all could think when I saw her was, "There is a woman of faith."

Sister A., I'm so happy that your earthly suffering is over, and that you are reunited with your beloved husband. Thank you for your example.

Garden Party Collages

Relief Society Garden Party

We had a beautiful garden party breakfast for the ladies in our ward today. The weather was amazing for us--despite rain before and rain after, and thunderstorms all week, and lots of worries--the party itself was warm, partly sunny, and could not have been more perfect. Prayer is a powerful tool!

I hope I got the names of some of the attendees right--if I didn't, be sure to tell me in the comments or in person, so I can fix it!

Thank you to all who made the event so beautiful and amazing, and to all who took time out of a busy Saturday to attend. It was a wonderful party!