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For my first three babies, I was excited to the point of sleeplessness about the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. See the baby! Count the fingers and toes! Is it a boy or a girl? Is the due date right? Yay babies!!
At Gee's ultrasound, however, we were first made aware of his spina bifida. It was a Friday morning, and my friend was taking care of the older two kids. Bradley took the morning off work. We were, obviously, not expecting anything out of the ordinary.
I don't remember the exact moment of revelation--it was gradual, with the ultrasound technician getting quieter and quieter, and making more and more measurements and images. He didn't make us wait to talk to the doctor, though; he told us he suspected that the baby had spina bifida, club feet, and the Arnold-Chairi II malformation of the brain. He told us the baby was a boy, that his heart and lungs were great, and that the OB would see us in just a few minutes.
We waited in the waiting room until the doctor had a free moment, clutching our roll of ultrasound photos. I called my friend and told her about the delay, barely holding back the tears of uncertainty and fear. The doctor was gentle and soothing, telling us a little about spina bifida, telling us we had an appointment at the Maternal-Fetal Medicine at the hospital the following Monday...it was overwhelming. The next couple of weeks were a blur, having to tell grandparents and siblings and friends. Gradually we got used to the idea, taught ourselves as much as we could, and coped. There were a lot of prayers and tears.
And then our Gee was born. And he immediately became a real person, not a scary abstract. Life is wonderful and not nearly so hard as we imagined during the 20 weeks between discovery and delivery.
But I've been scarred concerning the whole ultrasound experience. I alternate between sheer terror and pleasant anticipation. (At least this time around I haven't burst into tears when asked about finding out the sex of the baby, as I did a week before Hebs' ultrasound.)
Ralph/ette's ultrasound is Monday morning at 11am. Everything is going to be fine, whatever may be.
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You are right, everything will be fine because you and Bradley are such good parents! I would offer my services but we are currently harboring an unknown virus. I feel like we have been sick so much this winter and am sad I can't be of help but will be thinking of you on Monday and am excited to hear whether you are carrying a Ralph or Ralphette (:
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Lisa! I know what you mean about being so sick this winter. We were down with the swine flu in October for more than three weeks, then the normal stomach/colds, and now we've been sick for almost two weeks. It's getting REALLY old really fast.
ReplyDeleteBut thank you for offering. I'm lucky that my sister and my mother-in-law live close enough to be able to help watch the kids during doctor's appointments. Taking all four of them isn't to be thought of!
Although I really do think this baby is a girl, I feel almost like I'm jinxing it to vote that way! Isn't that silly? I'm sure that everything will be fine, though. Gee is such a special, amazing little boy and whoever this new baby turns out to be, s/he will be just as special and amazing. =) I love you so much and am thinking of you constantly this weekend!
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