On Not Doing It All

Last night I set my alarm to awaken me at midnight, so that I could register my older children for swimming lessons at the city pool this summer. Then I started scanning the lesson schedules, looking for the ideal class time.

First snag: We have an unusually busy summer. We're only going to be out of town once, for three days, but Bradley and I are teaching two mini-classes together (two days each) in June, there's two family reunions (in June and July), and anything past July 28 is out, because the baby will likely come sometime that last week of July/first week of August. When to swim, when to swim? In every single session (half-hour daily for two weeks) the pool offers, we would end up missing at least three (if not four) days.

Second snag: The four & five year old classes are offered at a different time than the six and up classes. (Is this different than last year? I could have sworn my friend's daughter (at least nine years old) had lessons the same time as my kids last year. But maybe she was in diving or something.) Instead of having to entertain the 3-year-old and the 1-year-old for a half hour, I would have to deal with them for a full hour, right at lunchtime. Plus whichever kid wasn't in the pool at the time.

Third snag: There is one session that we would only miss three days--and I could conceivably manage to miss only two, if I worked things out right--happens to be the mid-July session. Mid-July, three children at a time in the midday sun at the pool (which they aren't allowed to enter) for an hour, 38 weeks pregnant...

I wanted to cry.

Instead, I unset my alarm, and went to sleep.

I'm starting to learn that I can't do it all. Oh, I probably CAN do it, but not gracefully, not healthily (is that a word?), and not happily. And as important as it is to let my kids have lots of good experiences (and to learn to swim!), it's also important to be realistic as to what I can handle. Swimming lessons this summer is not something I can handle.

And you know what? I know I made a good decision. I'd like to say I'm perfectly all right with it, but I'm not. I do feel really guilty about it.

And I haven't told the kids yet. They will NOT be pleased. I will try to make it up to them, by taking them to the pool (when Daddy can stay home with the littles, when I can get a sitter, etc) lots of times before the baby comes. (Me in a swimsuit. It'll be lovely.)

But I can't do it all. I don't have to be SuperMom. I can just be Good-Enough-Mom. And that's okay.