Still Trembly

So, this morning I packed the kids into the car to have lunch with Daddy and then spend the day with my sister Telima.

Except lunch and Telima didn't happen, because on the way--on I-15 between the north Springville and University Avenue exits--we were in a three car accident. Traffic braked suddenly, I stood on my brakes, and we couldn't stop in time. I can remember choosing not to swerve, because I was scared of flipping the van over on the mud of the shoulder. We hit the back of a SUV, and I saw the hood crumple a bit, and had just enough time to think: "OK, that wasn't so bad..." when CRASH. The car behind us rammed us.

It was so loud.

I had enough time, in the split second between crashes, to look up at the rearview mirror to check the kids, and now I have an image of them flailing back and forth indelibly impressed on my mind. Probably forever.

As I instinctively pulled off the side of the road (all three cars in the accident did), I was asking the kids if they were okay. Zee and Em were crying. Someone--maybe Zee, maybe Gee--was saying, "What happened? What happened?" I put the car in park and jumped out, frantically pulling the side doors open to check on everyone.

We were so fortunate, and lucky, and blessed. Everyone was okay. Hebs looked confused, but completely unhurt. Gee was likewise perplexed by the event, but totally fine. Mimi just grinned up at me, like, "Cool. We there yet?" Em was scared but fine. Zee was the one I was the most worried about--he hit the back of his head as he was flung forward and back. He cried a bit, saying his neck and head hurt.

I felt nothing, physically, my adrenalin was so high. My stomach was churning, my hands were shaking, and I had the overwhelming urge to cry. There was a strong feeling of disbelief, too. This couldn't have just happened. We were just going to lunch with Daddy! But I knew I had to keep it together so I wouldn't panic the kids. They were shaky enough as it was, and every time I started to fall apart, their little worried voices brought me back.

Just behind us was an off-duty EMT, who called for the police and an ambulance. She reassured the kids, me, and the other drivers. She gave the kids stuffed animals, and when the ambulance came, she had the EMTs examine Zee (who has a painful bump on the head, but is just fine otherwise). The other EMTs gave all the kids blankets to keep warm, and wrapped one around me as well.

The front hood was all completely bashed in, and the rear was totaled. The trunk space was practically not there anymore, and the window was gone. Both sliding doors still opened, though.

I used someone's cell phone to call Bradley, and told him right off the top that everyone was okay, but that the car was wrecked. He borrowed a car and zipped over as fast as he could, but because of the traffic jam we'd created, it was a good 45 minutes before he made it to us. In the meantime, I was filling out paperwork and reassuring the kids. And still holding it together, barely.

Finally he arrived, and I ran over to him as best I could, with a rapidly stiffening knee and the horrible mud on the shoulder. I knew I was going to cry when I saw him, and I did, but I stopped, because we still needed to take care of stuff. We got the kids in the borrowed sedan, finished the paperwork, accepted the citation ("Unsafe Following Distance," which, to be fair, is completely true. If I had been at a safe following distance, I wouldn't have hit the first car. That wouldn't have stopped the accident, because the girl behind me would have still hit me, but still. There you go.), and watched the van get winched onto the tow truck. And then we left.

We got home, settled the kids with food and movies, and then I fell apart.

I'm mostly okay, now. As the day goes on, I've become stiffer and stiffer. Now, at 9:30pm, I have a bit of a headache, a sore-ish neck and shoulders, but it is my knee giving me the most trouble. I've a lovely little bruise and bump on my left knee, from hitting the steering column, I guess, and if I sit too long it stiffens up and aches like the very devil when I try to use it. I imagine, after a night's rest, it will be even worse.

But! We are safe. We are all just fine. The kids seem to have recovered well from the accident. Zee wants to have a piece of the van to take to show-and-tell next week, and Gee spent some time today playing with his new emergency vehicle toys he got in his stocking, talking about a "HUGE car accident". And everyone has been a little more clingy, a little more needy of physical affection right now.

Which I have been more than happy to give. I am grateful to God for His protective hand over us today.