Counter-productive

It's fairly counter-productive to shout, "Zee, stop yelling at your sister THIS INSTANT."

Also it's a little sad.

I find myself raising my voice more and more often these days. It's a vicious cycle, because my yelling shows my children that yelling is okay, which results in more yelling, which then I have to yell to be heard above...you get the idea. My mother rarely, if ever, raised her voice in anger. (Yes, I am aware that this is an impossible thing to believe. Yet it is true.) But I don't have my mother's temperament.

My father didn't have my mother's temperament, either. He had a bit of a temper, actually, and I inherited it. He wasn't ever abusive (in fact, my father was a most loving man); he never said mean or cutting things, but he definitely was loud in his tone when he was upset or angry. And children, as I am learning daily, can push your "angry" or "upset" buttons really quickly.

He worked everyday of his life to rein it in, to be calm, to use a quiet voice when disciplining. My mother recently told me that in the last few years before he died, he felt he was finally winning the battle against his temper. I'm so glad he did.

I'm thankful for both my parents' example: I'm grateful that my mother shows me how I want to be, and I'm grateful that my father showed me how to get there. If I can just keep trying.

Don't expect miracles. But maybe tomorrow I can yell just one time less than I did today.