"Safe" Counsel

Many years ago, my mother was helping an older woman in our neighborhood clear out her garage. Among the trunks of clothes and piles of furniture, she found a box of old books. The neighbor, knowing my mother had several avid readers at home, offered the box to my mother.

Most of the books inside were junk, but there were a few gems. This book was the pick of the litter. (Ha, ha, ha! Just a little eugenics humor, there.)

The cover of this book, published in 1919 by J.L. Nichols & Co, proclaims "Safe Counsel". The title page, however, has a more grandiose name:

"Searchlights on Health: The Science of Eugenics. A Guide to Purity and Physical Manhood. Advice to Maiden, Wife, and Mother. Love, Courtship, and Marriage."

This book is charmingly illustrated, as demonstrated below:

(Sorry, but that Guardian Angel is a FAIL. Look at those kids, cheerfully picking flowers right at the cliff's edge! Junior is one step away from a long drop. Shouldn't she be in front of them or something? And what's with picking flowers there, anyway? Couldn't she direct them to a nice meadow, thereby alleviating the need for rescue?)

Of course, most of the book is complete and total rubbish, but there are a few gems. One of my favorites:

(click on the image to enlarge it)

From the list of "Advice to the Married and Unmarried", number 9.

Do Not Marry a Man With a Low, Flat Head; for, however fascinating, genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will repent the day of your espousal

Well, then. What more do you need to know?

I scanned several pages of this book recently; when I get a chance I'll post some of the more hilarious entries. (For example, there is one on Mormons that is just pricelessly bizarre.) And there is a copy of this book on Project Gutenburg, too, for your own perusing pleasure.