Don't Go to Heaven

Four-year-old Gee is a very literal child. This sometimes creates problems, as it did today:

The telephone rang. Bradley, picking it up, commented to me that the caller ID says, "Church of Jesus". Knowing it is either the ward executive secretary or the bishop, he answered saying, "Church of Jesus!" He then proceeded to have a normal, church-business-related conversation.

In the meantime, Gee looked up at me. "Daddy is talking to Jesus?" Laughing, I tried to explain, but he had it firmly in his head. Daddy was on the phone with Jesus.

Once Bradley was done with his phone call, I had him try to explain. "No, Gee, I wasn't on the phone with Jesus. That was my friend, Bro. B."

"Where is Jesus?" Gee asked.

"In heaven with Heavenly Father." Daddy explained.

"I want to see Jesus!"

"You will, but not until you are old and die and go up to heaven," said Daddy.

Gee's eyes got very wide. "I don't want to die! I don't want to see Jesus!"

We comforted him. "Sweetie, don't be sad, it isn't something you have to worry about right now. And when you do go to heaven, you'll be with Jesus and Heavenly Father and Momma and Daddy!"

That seemed to get through. However, a few seconds later, I stood up and prepared to run to the store. "Okay, I'm going to go now, see you in a while."

Gee, panicked, grabbed at me. "DON'T GO TO HEAVEN!!!"